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I’ve had to have many difficult discussions with Adler through out this journey and last night was yet another one. They don’t just disappear after you have them either. At least not for me. Often I am left emotionally hungover from them and my mind wasted and wanting to run from it all. But that’s not an option. It never has been and it never will be. You draw from an unknown place inside that gives you the ability to talk about such things like death. Like living with cancer. You answer questions like why him, why us, will we ever have a “normal” life? You muster up the good and find the light in the dark of it all and you have the talks that must be had. You don’t sugar coat but you try to ease and comfort with words of encouragement and love. This is not easy. It’s hasn’t been and it won’t be. Not for us. Not for Adler. But you do what you have to do to survive it and to live another day. Keep holding onto the boat. Bold As Love and as always FUCK CANCER!!!!

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Adler is working with his teacher on line. She’s on his iPad with him while he’s on the computer doing math. I know many are struggling with this as e-learning is frustrating and takes a minute to get used to. Especially since it’s been forced upon us due to the Coronovirus and keeping us all safe. The thing is, Adler has been doing this for quite some time now. He did it with Kristen Hoffman McGirr in second grade and with Teresa Blystone for most of third grade. Sadly, yet thankfully, it’s always been an option for us because of pain. And now it’s become the only way for kids to learn. I commend all the teachers and parents getting the hang of it!!!! And you will, you’ll get the hang of it and they will be back in school before you know it!! And hopefully all will return to normal. Your normal and ours, still using hand sanitizer and wipes and worried about any germs and sickness. Still in treatment, still continued side effects, still cancer. But alive. That’s all we want. To keep him alive. It’s not dramatic. It real life. Our life. With or without a pandemic. This just adds to it!!!! So cheers to the quarantine life….we just thought that was normal!!!! Thanks Metta Bailey Heublein for all your extra help!!! Always.

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