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This is the third school year that Adler is not starting school “normally”. He’s still sleeping. No getting up early. No breakfast while I pack his lunch. No school uniform ready to put on. School supplies are in his new backpack and new pencil box on his desk in his room. Not at school. (Because you betcha we got him all new anyway.) No seeing his friends. No excitement. I said last night before he went to sleep, “you’re a fifth grader tomorrow”. He said “sort of”. Yep. So this isn’t just about Covid-19 for us. It’s been about cancer for 6 years now. He had one year. One that he attended “normally”. One. We hoped against hope he could attend this year. And maybe he will. But today was supposed to be his first day of 5th grade at Trinity and it’s not. He will pop in to say Hi via Zoom later today. He will resume with e-learning and independent studying until it is safe for him to return. His teacher sent me the pics of his desk and locker and that made me so happy as he’s still a part of it even if he’s not there. It also made me cry because he can’t be and he should be. He should be damn it. But we adapt and trudge on through the muddy battlefield of cancer. One day at a time. Because it is what it is. Bold As Love. Holding onto the boat. And yes. Fuck Cancer.

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