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from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/3iEJAKd

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Met with Adler’s 5th grade teacher tonight. Socially distanced outside. The only reason Adler cannot attend in person school this year is because of covid. Otherwise, he would have been able. Able. Our son who wasn’t supposed to see age 5. Our son who’s been in chronic pain for nearly 7 years. Our son who wasn’t able to run or walk well. Our son who lost the use of his arms after his cervical spinal biopsy. Our son who’s on treatment for the second time for inoperable metastasized brain cancer. Our son who hasn’t been able to attend school “normally” since the beginning of second grade. He would have been ABLE. So yes, I kinda hate Covid. So does he. School is his happy place. It always has been. He wanted a locker. He wanted to decorate it. And we said we would when it’s safe for him like after school sometime. His teacher said that was fine. And they have plan. We have a plan. We always have to have a plan. It’s required for him. To see him smile talking about school and what his goals are and what he’s willing to do to make this year happen from home made me proud. And happy. And sad. And thankful. All at the same time. He made it to start another year. Even if it’s from home. Courage over fear. That’s how he’s able. Adler Bear Carris. Our son!!!! My best friend!!! 🅰️💙🌈⚓

from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/3aDpcoP

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Met with Adler’s 5th grade teacher tonight. Socially distanced outside. The only reason Adler cannot attend in person school this year is because of covid. Otherwise, he would have been able. Able. Our son who wasn’t supposed to see age 5. Our son who’s been in chronic pain for nearly 7 years. Our son who wasn’t able to run or walk well. Our son who lost the use of his arms after his cervical spinal biopsy. Our son who’s on treatment for the second time for inoperable metastasized brain cancer. Our son who hasn’t been able to attend school “normally” since the beginning of second grade. He would have been ABLE. So yes, I kinda hate Covid. So does he. School is his happy place. It always has been. He wanted a locker. He wanted to decorate it. And we said we would when it’s safe for him like after school sometime. His teacher said that was fine. And they have plan. We have a plan. We always have to have a plan. It’s required for him. To see him smile talking about school and what his goals are and what he’s willing to do to make this year happen from home made me proud. And happy. And sad. And thankful. All at the same time. He made it to start another year. Even if it’s from home. Courage over fear. That’s how he’s able. Adler Bear Carris. Our son!!!! My best friend!!! 🅰️💙🌈⚓

from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/3gK0ypU

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“I’m so tired Mom” Adler “I know you are” Me “And I’m so done. Like really done.” Adler “I know but you can keep going” Me smiling. “Can I though? How much longer?” Adler “16 months……” “I’m so tired, so done” Adler And then I hugged him. This was today. The other night he expressed his same feelings after me finding his rash had spread to his scalp upon drying him fresh out of the shower. He then went off about it all. Ticking off all the places on his body where the rash is or has been. He pointed out where his pain was and is. He expressed how uncomfortable he is all the time and just how exhausted he is. He even got teary. Claimed he didn’t want to do “this” anymore. Said he was over it. Done with it. Just wanted to stop. I let him talk and validated his feelings as I always do. Then we discussed it all. As adults. But me as his mother and he as my son I told him just how loved, special and important he is but that his peace is also important to me as well. Those talks are so heavy. So hard but necessary and all part of it. You can’t live with cancer without talking about death. It’s not possible. I pointed out the joys in the pain and hope that we still hold on to. I think it helped…… But now, he’s playing with his friends online and he’s “ok” for now. Me, I’m sitting with it all right next to me. Because those emotional talks and feelings become like their own entity. All too real. Beautiful distractions necessary. Bold As Love. And FUCK CANCER.

from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/30m147Q

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“I’m so tired Mom” Adler “I know you are” Me “And I’m so done. Like really done.” Adler “I know but you can keep going” Me smiling. “Can I though? How much longer?” Adler “16 months……” “I’m so tired, so done” Adler And then I hugged him. This was today. The other night he expressed his same feelings after me finding his rash had spread to his scalp upon drying him fresh out of the shower. He then went off about it all. Ticking off all the places on his body where the rash is or has been. He pointed out where his pain was and is. He expressed how uncomfortable he is all the time and just how exhausted he is. He even got teary. Claimed he didn’t want to do “this” anymore. Said he was over it. Done with it. Just wanted to stop. I let him talk and validated his feelings as I always do. Then we discussed it all. As adults. But me as his mother and he as my son I told him just how loved, special and important he is but that his peace is also important to me as well. Those talks are so heavy. So hard but necessary and all part of it. You can’t live with cancer without talking about death. It’s not possible. I pointed out the joys in the pain and hope that we still hold on to. I think it helped…… But now, he’s playing with his friends online and he’s “ok” for now. Me, I’m sitting with it all right next to me. Because those emotional talks and feelings become like their own entity. All too real. Beautiful distractions necessary. Bold As Love. And FUCK CANCER.

from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/3aDpcoP

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from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/30fWgRr

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