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Soon I will wake him for his appointments today. We will get around, eat breakfast, get dressed and head out. Putting our masks on before we leave the condo as they are required in the building. Thankfully there have been no cases in the building. Aaron will drive us to the hospital and drop us off. Adler and I will go in just us and head to the 18th floor. But not before we have to check in and get a disposable mask for each of us after hand sanitizing each time I touch the masks. Then we’ll wait in the waiting room which will be different as it has to be right now. When Adler had his MRI he had lost weight so we’ll see today too. Weight, height, blood pressure and temp check as always before we head to a room. We’ll hang out until Meghan the nurse practitioner running the trial/study comes in. Dr. Goldman will too. That’s Adlers oncologist. I will call Aaron for a video chat so he can “be there” for the MRI results and discussion. This is new for us. But still all the same for us. Here’s the thing I have thought about through this quarantine that has been pretty rough for people in many ways…..our life didn’t drastically change. Nor do we have a normal to get back to. Yes Aaron was off work and will be going back Monday. Yes we couldn’t go to dinner with my parents. Sure it was different at the store but I’ve lived with hand sanitizer and wipes as a necessity for a long time now. The hand sanitizer life has always been our life. Even masks during flu season or when his counts were low and he was around people. Not to this extent but it’s not foreign to us. But cancer, treatment, pain, worry, fear…..all those kept going. They never stopped. And they will continue once things are opened up and life goes on for the masses. Sure there have and will be moments of joy and happiness. Of course. But there’s no comforting commercials or memes or celebrities telling me it will be okay. There’s no concerts or performances dedicated to this life that is and will remain the same. There are a group of amazing charities that do offer many things for patients and families which is awesome. My point is cancer didn’t get quarantined. Pain didn’t either. And it won’t get freedom. Adlers life, the blessing that it is, is not an easy one. And being a witness to it as wonderful as it is, is also hard. These few days we spend here every month are not easy either. They come with a heaviness that is often too much and difficult to carry. But trudge on we do. Bold As Love and holding on to the boat……for as long as we have to fight to keep him and for as long as time gives us with him.

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