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I went to bed just after midnight with a raging migraine. Finally getting ice packs for my temple and neck around 3 am. At 6:20 am Adler came in. He said he had to go to the bathroom. I had barely slept and got up because I know what happens. Soon enough he was nauseous and feeling faint. His feet propped up in front of him on the toilet seat and his back hurting. I grabbed the bowl and Happy Tummy essential oil. Slathered it on him and had him take deep breaths. Some time goes by. Soon enough the color draining from his face he says “Mom, I feel like I might faint”. I had him wipe quickly as I held onto him just in case, helped him get his underwear back on and helped him to my bed. I had him lay down and take deep breaths. Innnnnn and ouuuuutttt. He said he still felt nauseous so I got the bowl and laid with him. We talked for about 20 minutes and he wanted to wash his hands. So we did that and I helped him to his own bed after that. Got the heating pad all situated and made sure the bowl was nearby and I got him an Imodium and a bottle of water. Making sure he just sipped it as to not throw it up. I laid with him until he said he was ready to go back to sleep. We talked about all kinds of stuff as the sun peeked in under the shades. I kissed him and hugged him a lot and made my way back to my bed. My head still hurting and needing more rest myself I laid down and covered up. It’s called vasovagal syncope or vasovagal syndrome. Google it. That’s what happens to him sometimes with going to the bathroom in the middle of the night or early in the morning. It’s happened when he’s showered too. So. We’re taking it easy today. Both of us. I’m glad he’s finally eaten and that he feels better. My head isn’t as bad but still hurts. Goodness. Aren’t we something??!! The cancer life. It’s all part of it.

by | Oct 13, 2020 | Updates From the Road

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The next time we come here, it will be for Adlers surgery. A necessary surgery. A surgery because of a surgery and because of his tumor in his cervical spine. I am leaving today after spending some time here by myself knowing that in two weeks we will be back. All together until we aren’t. I don’t care how amazing the doctors are, and they are, or how “strong” we are and Adler especially, this shit ain’t easy. I know the drill all too well and I hate that I do. I hate that we do. We will come up on Sunday as Adler will need a Covid test on Monday prior to his surgery that Thursday the 29th. He will have a pre-op appointment with his oncologist and see his endocrinologist as well on the 28th. All of which I will be the only parent with him. Aaron will be able to be with us for the surgery but as soon as we are admitted to a room, he must leave. This has never happened. We have always been together for hospital stays. It’s just me and the boy for the 3-4 days after. Hopefully it’s not more but…..we all know it could be. We’re still pretty jaded from the last surgery!!!! So. When I turn around and lock the door today to this beautiful condo I know that the next time I open the door it will be different. But for the same goddamn reason. Cancer. And yes I am typing this with tears streaming down my cheeks and my heart in my throat. Cancer sure does put ya through it!!!! Man. So as always, Bold As Love and forever FUCK CANCER!!!! 🅰️🌈⚓💙

by | Oct 11, 2020 | Updates From the Road

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Back and neck pain last night. Watching some more Law And Order last night (he’s obsessed and I always have been) and out of the blue he says after me saying some silly stuff, “I don’t think I am that scared of the surgery, I mean I am but, I just can’t believe I have to recover…..again”. The mood immediately changed and I hugged him. Our talk was pretty serious and intense. I’m glad we have those talks even though they are pretty heavy. The weight will increase as the surgery comes closer. I tried my best to listen and reassure him in all the ways I know how. As much as I love these talks I rather despise the content. 🅰️🌈💙⚓

by | Oct 9, 2020 | Updates From the Road

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Buttons are his nemesis and homework is hard to do when his neck hurts. But he’s doing it. Even after taking a few breaks to get his shirt buttoned. And he desperately wants to be caught up for school but we might need a little math help and breaks, again, are necessary. It’s taken him so long to recover from his last surgery and he’s still in that recovery. His left arm has begun to worsen especially his hand. And soon, another surgery. In the same exact spot. We are terrified. Even with the confidence of his surgeon and the reassurance of the success and the necessity of the surgery. We can’t help but be scarred from before. Literally for him!!!! Ugh. Just Ugh. 😩

by | Oct 7, 2020 | Updates From the Road

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