“I’m so tired Mom” Adler “I know you are” Me “And I’m so done. Like really done.” Adler “I know but you can keep going” Me smiling. “Can I though? How much longer?” Adler “16 months……” “I’m so tired, so done” Adler And then I hugged him. This was today. The other night he expressed his same feelings after me finding his rash had spread to his scalp upon drying him fresh out of the shower. He then went off about it all. Ticking off all the places on his body where the rash is or has been. He pointed out where his pain was and is. He expressed how uncomfortable he is all the time and just how exhausted he is. He even got teary. Claimed he didn’t want to do “this” anymore. Said he was over it. Done with it. Just wanted to stop. I let him talk and validated his feelings as I always do. Then we discussed it all. As adults. But me as his mother and he as my son I told him just how loved, special and important he is but that his peace is also important to me as well. Those talks are so heavy. So hard but necessary and all part of it. You can’t live with cancer without talking about death. It’s not possible. I pointed out the joys in the pain and hope that we still hold on to. I think it helped…… But now, he’s playing with his friends online and he’s “ok” for now. Me, I’m sitting with it all right next to me. Because those emotional talks and feelings become like their own entity. All too real. Beautiful distractions necessary. Bold As Love. And FUCK CANCER.

from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/30m147Q

Adler