Soon. The MRI is soon. I will numb his 2 possible IV sites on his arms. I’ve got it down perfectly now. The VAT team has shown me many times the best spots on the left and right. Adler prefers it on his right since he can use that arm better. Though, he’d rather not have one at all. He hates the IV and the MRI. It’s still only Adler and I allowed so Aaron will drop us off and wait back at the condo for my call that we are ready to be picked up. He’s voiced his opinion about his MRI many times in the past few days. Especially last night and today as the time approaches to leave. He is sick of them. He hates having to lay there, still, for so long. It hurts his shoulder and his neck. His head often hurts after from his shunt moving in the giant magnet and from having it placed in what resembles a vice grip with washcloths stuffed in next to his headphone covered ears so “he won’t move his head”. They say it every time. He will have to wear a mask too. As will I. The entire time. But that part neither of us complain about. We’re both too damn nervous to care. It’s all uncomfortable. ALL of it. But he will do it. I will sit next to his feet in a plastic chair and touch them from time to time while I read a book as he’s in the tube. Which if you don’t know is very very loud!!!! Not easy to concentrate on anything much less be damn near violently reminded why we are there as the sounds vibrate the ear protection shoved in my own ears. It’s literally days of anxiety leading up to right now. He handles it better than I do…..I think. Until he says “I’m having a hard time with this one”. I’ve had esophageal spasms all day which are very painful. Needed Imodium yesterday. Used a ton of oils and will bring them with along with my two oil soaked inhalers to sniff while I sit in that room with Adler. With Adlers cancer. With Adlers pain. With the memory of every single MRI before this playing like a movie as he watches one via the mirror above him and the screen outside the tube. It never gets easier even if it’s routine. Just holding on to the boat. Bold As Love and Fuck Cancer.

from Life with our little Super Hero Adler Bear https://ift.tt/2BPZbGP

Adler